Passion

We live in an entitled country. For the majority of us we don't need to worry about where our next meal is going to come from or how we are going to walk home safe from school. I am not speaking for all of America, only the area I have grown up in, Orange County. Someone put it well last night, that we are in extreme danger here in Orange County, in danger of becoming too comfortable here and not realizing that there are extreme injustices going on around the world today. Millions of lives being held captive to slavery, sex trafficking, political oppression, unclean water sanitation and insufficient nutrition. Many of us don't want to learn of these injustices because we feel helpless to making any kind of difference, so we choose not to do anything and go on pretending that our lives and our comfort are what's most important.

I had to leave this blog for a while and go on living my day, now it's 12:40am and I can't sleep. I have to laugh for a second in response to the phrase "be careful what you pray for"... because it was just a few hours ago where I asked God to remind me of the sorrow, fear, pain and helplessness I feel from my prior experiences traveling in Africa and my knowledge of modern day injustices. And now I can't stop crying, I feel this weight on me with the knowledge of these things but this overwhelming helplessness to do anything that would even make a difference at all. I think that it's normal to feel how I do now, but the difference that I choose to make is what to do with it, not to chalk it up as a loss saying it's too overwhelming and too big, but to stare this monster in the face and suffer alongside the people that are suffering. Because we were not meant to carry the burden on our own. We Americans and myself especially have lived a very privileged lifestyle. I have never had to worry about where my next meal is going to come from, or what would happen if I slipped into debt because I know that I have people that could support me financially. The thing that hurts me the most is that people are suffering and they are suffering alone.

I once heard that passion means to suffer. Which makes me think of the movie "Passion of the Christ", the suffering of Christ... who not only suffered with us he suffered for us. Maybe I can't solve the world of all the injustices of today but maybe I can suffer with the people who are suffering, maybe I can be passionate about them and maybe God will bless me with the opportunity to move the Kingdom forward and let the victims of oppression and injustice know that they are not alone, and that they are loved. I think this post just confirmed my calling to be a part of the World Race, that is if I get in. I've fought it like crazy because I'm so scared of what I would face in 11 months in 11 different countries... but I made a commitment to follow Jesus and if he leads me to the darkest areas in the world I will follow him there and rejoice his name the entire time. I don't have every part of myself figured out yet but I know that I am a very passionate person, which then means that in my passion I will suffer, but I choose to feel the suffering and not shut myself off or detach myself from the realities of injustice today. I choose.