But as human beings we often shy away from discipline because it hurts and takes sacrifice. Being refined in the fire is one of the most painful things I can say I've experienced because it requires taking a look inside my heart and seeing where I've fallen short.
To be brutally honest I've completely turned away from self-discipline which leaves me at a place where I can hardly commit to anything because I'm not disciplined.
I spent a summer in Africa 3 years ago in the word DAILY, and my relationship with the Lord was so strong that I knew nothing could break it. But then I came back to the states and it has been a continual struggle for me. All I want is to have the motivation to wake up every day and read my bible. Why can't I do this?
I have the best intentions in my heart, I have moments where I kick myself for not doing it sooner and vow to make a difference in my life. And time after time I fail.
I just figured out why...
because I try to do everything on my own, because I think that even in my relationship with Jesus, I don't need Jesus. That I can do it by myself, where does that leave me? Back in the same place, realizing I can't do anything without Christ. I really can't. And I think our society has told us that we can because it's pretty easy to live every day not even thinking about God.
But self-discipline is a learned characteristic and I'm ready to learn. I'm ready to admit this fault and throw it into the fire to be refined. I will post more about how I'm planning on doing this in my life, but let's just be honest... I've had enough at being the same... I'm ready for a change.